For anyone who has ever studied or attended a course or training day or has team meetings at work with a group of colleagues you have probably encountered that really annoying person who talks ALL the time, chiming in with an unwanted opinion/answer and is generally a pain-in- the
-ass know-it- all. Well I’m afraid I have become that person…. I have watched that person when I was studying my undergraduate degree thinking they should just shut up because nobody cares what they think and now I find myself at Uni/ training/ team meetings chiming in and putting forward my 2 cents. Sometimes I tell myself to shut up in my head but usually I can’t help myself. Generally I find myself talking more when those around me sit quietly and say nothing, or when I think that there is some sort or injustice or just something I don’t agree with or like. I know others notice it too. At the work Christmas party I was given a certificate for being the person who says what’s on her mind…
I have been thinking about it more recently after being turned down for a job that I really wanted and I think that the reason I do this is because I really do care about this stuff. I love my job and can be quite passionate about certain subjects, often finding myself in arguments or even confrontation with people who disagree with me. I feel like so much of my identity is wrapped up in my job and being a social worker that it’s like a piece of me goes into everything I do.
My latest rejection has been hard to take because I feel like it is personal. My rational self knows that it’s not but my emotional self feels broken and unsure about how to move forward. Originally I started this blog to help me find a hobby, to try new things so I don’t become a boring person who only speaks about her kids and work (I know I do this). I have found this really hard, I have given up a bit, because nothing really holds my interest. I keep thinking, I should really try *insert activity here* but don’t seem to find or make the time to do it. I have continued to write this blog which I do enjoy (I wonder why?) and I have continued to take my weekly photos of my kiddies, thankfully they continue to amaze me daily, make me laugh out loud and make me think I am going to lose my mind. I am going to have a long hard think about things now, about my personal and professional goals, make a plan and keep on trying.
The Lion & The Hermit 